well, i will be back home in like another 4 days? yup, haha... great!! cant wait to see how much singapore has changed. i bet it has...

was packing... and now my room looks like really empty... doesnt feel like my room anymore. having boxes lying around is really foreign... its sad to see my room in such a state. but cant help it...

and all the security stuff about heathrow is like not good for health... it just paranoia... its so unpredictable... so i guess i will just have to play safe and be there early... and i hate not knowing what to expect... haiz..

it reminds me of a personality report... where the biggest point it made that i disagreed the most is that it said that i work better around rules... which at that time seem like absolute bullshit... b'cos i hate rules... i always felt that rules are there as a restriction... as a limitation... but now that i think about it... maybe i was wrong then... maybe the rules that they referred to has got nothing to do with the usual connotations like school rules and regulations and the strong arm of law... but more like unwritten rules... like expectations... and in that sense, maybe i do work better with rules...

well... the thing is... rules are there to set boundaries and limits... and that should impede growth and my potential right??.. logical?? so how in the world can i work better with rules? well, i guess that although rules tend to restrict... they also liberate in a way by setting, and more importantly making known, the boundaries... in the sense that now that i think about it... i think that i am more comfortable when i know what is right and what is wrong... when i know the limit and boundaries... when "the mine fields have been clearly marked out"... it just give a sense of confidence... i guess... knowing what is and isnt expected of you and everyone else... yup... it thereafter gives you the freedom to explore those boundaries before you start pushing the boundaries... and maybe, for me, not having rules or any known expectation is kinda like treading in uncharted waters... knowing that you may accidentally make an unknowing mistake... which sux... bcos, by not knowing the rules... i would naturally take a more cautious position... and this is what will impede my potential...

i guess i wrongly dismissed that personality report... and now that i know it... i guess i can try my best to put it into good use... by doing my best to identify the rules and expectations first before engaging in stuff... it will be my resolution... even though its not new year... i just hope that i will remember what i wrote here on this post... because like many other good things in life... they somehow always manage to drift into the background... and disappear forever... hopefully this one doesnt... and it wont if i work on it...